Saying I Love You

Orion and I had not been dating long…. One day on his way out the door, headed to work, Orion gave me a kiss goodbye. He told me he loved me. It was completely random and unexpected. I almost said it back as if it was a reflex. Something we had been saying to each other for years. Instead, I did not say anything. I could not and he left for work.

I remember feeling happy, scared, and unsure. Did I want him to love me? Did I want to love him?

See, my previous relationship had been a bad one. It was bad for years. It took me a year and a half afterwards to consider wanting to date again. Another two years to actually date someone.

Before he told me he loved me… I thought, I had conquered all my fears and insecurities about love and relationships. I had not. Not completely anyways. I worked out my feelings and decided to wait and tell him when I was sure I meant it.

A few weeks of expecting the worst and weeks of hearing I love you. I finally said I love you, too.

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